Epilepsy-The College Years

This week I celebrate the 10 year anniversary of my brain surgery. So, I bring you a series of blogs that refelct my journey leading up to the surgery. At age 18, I left home for college. I didn't just go up the street, I traveled 17 hours away from home to beautiful Southern California. This would be the first time I would be away from home with a seizure disorder not under supervision. I took college in stride. I welcomed the freedom and thoroughly enjoyed the overall experience. The seizures were pretty mellow through college and weren't really a major distraction. I hid the fact that I had what was diagnosed as "partial complex seizures". A few close friends were aware of the meds I was on, and I only explained it if it was necessary. With partial complex seizures, I would not convulse, but I would have these "dizzy spells" were I would have my short term memory affected for no more than 20 seconds. I was on medication and if there were side effects, which vomiting was one, I would normally be able to play it off as if I was sick, or ate something. No harm, no foul. If I did have a seizure, I was able to play those off as well. I did visit the doctor on occasion when I returned home to Portland throughout college. Not much changed, but I did learn that I could function pretty well and hide my disorder. Throughout college I maintained great grades, was invovled in campus life on numerous levels, and managed to get through in 4 years. 4 years that were at the time the best 4 of my life. By the end of college a few friends knew that something wasn't right, but for the most part I managed to mask my disorder from even some of my closer friends. I did so out of fear that people would start to look for them and ask if I was having them, as I did. So, the plan was this- the less people know, the better.

Epilepsy: How it all Began- A Brain Surgery Countdown

The year was 1990, and my family was at Red Robin. My dad, mom, and two younger sisters were enjoying a family night out. My mom noticed my behavior change for a minute, where I went into a zone, and what I recall was more like a dizzy spell, where everything went into slow motion. Didn't think anything of it, and went on with life as a high school freshman. For a while doctors struggled to get a grip on what was happening to me when slow motion started. After a few appts, they finally came up with a diagnosis-epilepsy. Not a word I really wanted to hear or attached to me. After all, I was a 14 year old kid, who had a bright future ahead of me. I was a starter on the freshman basketball team and pulling down a 4.0 GPA. So, they took me in and scanned my brain. They didn't find a thing, well a brain and some cells, but nothing to be too concerned over. They put me on some light meds and off I went to live my life. Live it, I did. For the next 4 years, high school was all it was supposed to be...sports, dances, friends, homework, a job, girlfriends, leadership, church, and a license to drive. Through it all nothing stopped me from becoming the normal kid who lived life to the fullest, enjoying every opportunity to be the center of attention. Although, through it all these dizzy spells would not go away. The medication helped, a little. Life happened and I enjoyed every minute of it. There was only one or two times I remember really being affected by these dizzy spells and both took place on the basketball courts. Once when I didn't have the ball, and once when I did. Easy enough to call a timeout and tell coach to take myself out of the game. Nothing major. At 16 I passed my driving test with flying colors and within days of turning 16, was driving a red Plymouth Barracuda all over. No complaints, except for these dumb little dizzy spells every once in a while.
High school ended and it was off to college. Being on my own was going to be freeing, rad, and one of the most exciting times in my life. Stay tuned as I bring you the college life rundown of life as an epileptic.

FOR SUCH A TIME IS THIS!

One of the most quoted scriptures in the book of Esther is in 4:14. It is here in the story of Esther that Mordecai reminds her that she has been placed in this position at this time, so she could make a difference. This week I was reminded 3 different times about the story of Esther. I watched a movie entitled "One Night with the King", heard our pastor mention the story a day later, and then happenend upon my devotional reading the story(assigned by a date that coincided with this week). This week I decided to look at my own life and see where God has placed me. So, I stepped back and made some observations. God has created me and positioned me to be a husband, father, pastor, friend, coach, and encourager. I thought of the fabulous wife God put in my life, and the companion that she has become over the years. I played with my kids, and thought of what an incredible responsibility and joy they bring me. I spent some time with the ECC team, where I work this week and realized that God has placed each of them in my life, and I in theirs for such a time is this. I gleam something from everyone that is in my life right now. I know that God has a plan for me, and at times in the last 20 years I have questioned that over and over. But this week, I came to a point in my maturity journey, that I am where I am because God is carving me, using the people I come in contact with everyday, every month, and the occasionial bump from someone who reminds me why I am on this planet of 6 billion people. There are times I wrestle with all that happens in my head and question why it happens, but I truly believe that when I accept God's positioning me for such a time is this, it is my opportunity to gain wisdom, influence when the opportunity arises, and listen to the people around me. I've been on a lot of teams in my life and I loved my role on each one, whether I am a starter, leader, or back up. I love being a part of teams. I'm just glad I'm on those teams, for such a time is this. Maybe a great action to take for you, is to see where you have been placed, and ask yourself these questions: Who am I influencing in my current realities? Who is around me challenging me in various aspects of my life? What areas can I grow in? Am I willing to be stretched?

Harvesting Dreams

It is hard to believe Fall is upon us. As I was reading scripture today, I was reminded of the season and what it brings-a harvest. Psalm 126 speaks of a pilgrimage. Like so many people today, these people were held captive. As their nation and world was falling around them, they fell into a state of somberness. Then, upon being freed, they are once free to dream again and agian. Dream to the point of laughter and joy. Have you ver been there? What was once a dark time, is now filled with songs of joy. These people realize that through freedom they are able to dream again, and through dreaming they will be able to reap a harvest. Their new found dream state puts them in a trance like state. As if they were in REM sleep. While they dream, they realize that it was God who raised themn out of this captive state of mind. Yes, they went through times of sorrow, but they realize that it is not the end, but only a means to the end. In this song, you will find a prayer, a song, and a promise. The promise is this...when we put effort into our dreams and we take time to carry the seed to sow, we will see our dreams harvested. God is giving us a new lease on life, it is our responsibility. We may sow sorrow, but we will reap rejoicing.

NOT SO PERFECT

This week there were a number of instances of people in the public eye, who made their imperfection known. There was Serena Williams in the US Open who reamed a line judge, Senator Joe Wilson who called President Obama, in all essence a "liar", and the infamous Kanye West, who hijacked Taylor Swift's VMA acceptance speech, to pretty much say "Beyonce should have won". (stay classy Kanye) So, we live in a world where we are not so perfect. This week, as my 7 year old and I were playing some Wii baseball, he hit a home run to win the game. He then looked over to me with a look of half smiles and half confidence and says, "Ha dad, you are not always so perfect." I smiled, as I knew he was just having fun with me, and then thought about the truth to that statement. WOW, that statement is so true. I am the first to point out my imperfection. It made me think of Philippians 3:12- "Not that I have already obtained this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me." I am not so perfect, but I do strive with ambition looking at what the prize is and know that I am made perfect through Jesus Christ. So, although losing in Wii baseball may make my son believe tht dad is imperfect, I know that that is just the tip of the iceberg; however, I aim to grasp the resurrection and the power of Jesus. It is humbling, but it is also a part of the discipleship journey I am constantly sharpening.

The Ghost and the Darkness

Have you ever had your past used against you? Satan does a pretty good job at trying to throw your past wrongs in your face and try to make you think you are worthless. I Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober, be vigilante, because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." The Greek word for "vigilant" is gregoreo, which means to be on your guard, to be watchful. The purpose of that word is to denote the watchful attitude of one who is on the lookout to make sure no enemy can penetrate any part of their life. This tells us that we should be on high alert. Peter reminds us that Satan is going to be aggresive in his attacks. Peter then goes onto use another interesting word "adversary". The Gk word is antidikos, which literally means a lawyer who argued in a court of law. A prosecutor who brought offenders to court and and argued against them. This is a great image of what the devil does when he strikes. If he can convince us of what he says, he has won. It is the way he does it. He poses as a ghost in the darkness, and attacks when we aren't ready or accuses to the point where we buy his lies. The word devour in the Gk is pino, which means to lick, to drink, or slurp up, as in a lion licking the blood of its prey. That is the way the devil works. However, Peter reminds us in the next verse that we have an out when the enemy comes roaring. "resist him, by standing firm in the faith." If you apply this you can literally stand alert and be ready when the Satan comes out of the darkness, and then with God's authority and Jesus' name turn the hunter into the hunted.

WHY SMALL GROUPS MUST BE "R" RATED

The three most important words in small group multiplication is RELATIONSHIP, RELATIONSHIP, RELATIONSHIP. There are plenty of "R" words that we don't want small groups to be about...like...ritual, religious, rules, and repetitious. People are in life transition about this time of season with school starting back up, church shoppers hunting for new ones, new jobs, new neighbors, and other transitions taking place like crazy. So, it is naturally a great time to reflect on Jesus as a leader, and use His example of multiplication. Jesus was about hanging with people. Inviting them for water, or offering a friendly talk to those no one else would even consider talking with. The heartbeat of God is relationship. God is about covenant...and that spells relationship. Yes, the people who we see as faith heroes in the Bible did incredible things like kill lions, knock down walls, and won battles. However, they were all about relationship and were heroes because their faith spilled over with "R"elationship. We have to be careful that the "program" doesn't become relationship, we need to become relationship. As we dive into small groups this Fall, we need to think about relationship. We will multiply as we get out and build relationship with people, new, old, and everywhere in the middle. The vision of small groups is simplified into one-word: MULTIPLICATION. To initiate this, we must get out and be about relationship. In the housing market the phrase is "location, location, location". In small group life it is "relationship, relationship, relationship." Go introduce yourself to someone and talk to them. This is how LIFE happens, this is how TRANSFORMATION starts. For small groups to grow, we must be "R" rated.