Creating Christmas Traditions for the Fam

Many Christmas traditions and memories from my childhood still dance around in my brain. I have been fortunate enough to pass down some of these family traditions to the family I now lead. It is important for people to have traditions to look forward to and celebrate, in their lives. Christmas traditions are some of the best to discover and plan for this season.

Below are a list of websites that have ideas to create and celebrate new traditions this Christmas season with friends and family:

http://simplemom.net/6-weeks-till-christmas-create-a-new-family-tradition/

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/holidays/making-meaningful-christmas-memories.aspx

http://halife.com/family/family_christmas_traditions.html

http://www.squidoo.com/family-christmas-traditions

http://www.parents.com/holiday/christmas/traditions/

Pass the Ball

You can learn a lot from leadership and watching sports. I was reading up on the adjustment for one of the highest draft picks from 2 years ago and realized, although a star at one time, his game slipped because he couldn't adjust. Growing up, NBA players have the ball in their hand 75% of a game. In junior high, high school, and even as they get into college, depending on where they go to school and who is on their team, they may dominate the ball handling. What caught me off guard was not the low scoring output for this high draft pick, but rather the following quote:

"I understood why I was struggling on the court, sort of. I was a player who was so used to having the ball in my hands the majority of the time that it was difficult to make the adjustment to playing without the ball, trying to learn how to play without the basketball. When you add in all the normal struggles that a rookie has - travel, length of schedule, and all that stuff - it was a very difficult year."

This is a leadership issue right here. This guy didn't get the ball in the hands of others very often and let teammates help lead the charge. The NBA is the highest level of play in the world-hands down. In all those years of dreaming, playing tournaments, getting a scholarship to a major university, playing ball, he never adjusted or learned the game without the basketball. Is this a failure of coaching? His own doing? Wasted talent? Reality of the pressures of the NBA game?

The fact is as a leader and a major contributor, no matter what you do, has got to get the ball in other's hands. One must study and have to learn how to play, help, lead, speak up, contribute, without being the main threat, main person, main fill-in-the-blank here.

Some lessons are learned the hard way. The take away here from this quote is this: You have got to build a team around you, you can trust, learn from, let lead at times, fail with, and dream with. I'm thankful I serve on a team like that and this above quote helped put in perspective the reality of playing team sports. You have to pass the ball to advance it down the field, score, and be ready when called upon.

Systems...Check...All Systems Clear for Launch...You Can't hesitate.

My car is great at telling me when I have systems that need to be checked or updated. My computer also alerts me, as does my iPhone. So, what would it take for you to have these systems check yourself? In the last month of the year, a lot happens. This is a great time to re-evaluate some key systems and practices you have established in your daily, weekly, monthly, routine.

Systems are great things to have in place. But if you have systems that are not working, it may be time to restructure your systems. Systems are beneficial in business, home, and life settings. Recently our staff went through a check of our systems. It is great to pause at least 2x a year and review the systems you have in place, look for the ones that may need to be established, and then get them all in motion. So you may ask, what are systems that you should think about or have in place for you personally?

Here are a few thoughts, in no order whatsoever: family, spiritual, health, responsibilities, personal, work, & friends. In each of these areas you have a ways to grow and set systems to make better use of your time management, follow though, and life development. In this process of reviewing systems, I found some that were dead-ends, rock-solid, seasonal, need some work, and then a few that need to be established.

Take a few hours to walk through your systems you have or have not. This is developing you as a person. If you need someone to review them, ask someone connected to the area you are working on: family, work, social, etc...

We can all grow from establishing systems. So, take the time and review them soon, before the lights go off and the systems crash. It's easier to address them before they are in a failure process.

The CORE of Fellowship

In this crazy pace of life we live, every so often it is good to get to the core of true fellowship. For small groups, simple core principles of fellowship can be very simple and probably pretty refreshing. As I comb over Philippians 2:1-4, there are some key lines I am drawn too. These lines are core items to gauge for small group life. In this passage we find a word "fellowship" that describes the interaction of the church. The original GK word is KOINONIA. Look at the basics of small group life you find in this passage from the following lines:

· Have Kindness & Compassion for one another. (v.1)

· Be Humble. (v.3)

· Always consider others... (v.3)

· Look out for the interest of others. (v.4)

When you look at Small Groups these are the core principles we need to have. If you applied them to your group your group my look very different than it does today, or your group may be a model group with no change necessary.

In other words SMALL GROUP LIFE CORE PRINCIPLES are summed up in Fellowship this way:

· LOVE unconditionally.

· TRANSCENDENT CAUSES where we serve together for the mission of Christ.

· VALUES/PURPOSE to uphold each individuals purpose in life.

· RESPONSIBILITIES to help each other experience transformation.

In which area may your small group need to improve? Step out and do better at? In which area can you lead better at?

PUSH!

I have a rule I established with my son: If someone pushes you, feel free to push back. (unless it is your sisters-then I'll take care of it) I know this may not be the rules you grew up with or rules you even establish in your household. But I want my kid to know he has permission to push people if needed. Being pushed by another kid, is permission from him to push back.

As a leader of a small group, it is very easy to not push or even push back. As a group grows closer together, a leader often draws back from anything that would bring challenge, confrontation, or even disagreement. I think as leaders of groups we have to be able to challenge our groups in growth. If we don't, then we are just offering a party with friends. In discussion and facilitating questions, the leader must be able to press people farther in their faith. That may look different for certain people, but the need to push-has to be there. A group often forms to agree with whatever is being said, and very seldom is their a "devils' advocate" in the room. Recently, I went to a small group and there was a challenge to the discussion. There was this tension, and it wasn't a negative tension at all. It was a tension that was great for the group to wrestle with. The leader responded in a fantastic way, and other group members gave some of their thoughts. I remember walking away from that group visit, feeling that this was super great. The facilitator displayed: poise, leadership, an answer backed up by scripture, and was friendly in the response. The tension didn't linger longer than it needed too. As a matter of fact, we all ate later together, agreeing to disagree on certain things.
The point is this. As leaders, we need to step in and push those in our groups as they walk along in faith. I know that leadership is tough. Leading small groups is tough for some. I do know this though: as leaders we will face challenges and push back; we must offer it as well. Let people wrestle with the text, the questions, and push people to extend their Christian faith. We need strong believers who know why they believe what they believe. One way to do this is to give them an opportunity to push their faith, with great friends who love them.
Pushing fellow small groupers will continue to transform them individually, and as a group. So, about this and next time do a little pushing with those in your group. Pushing can be a great stretching environment, and we all know stretching is great for us all.

Don't Be Stinky

I have an old friend, who will remain nameless, that I grew up with that stunk all the time. He used deodorant, he brushed his teeth, he took showers; however, he did not take care of everything that could cause this stink problem. The reason he stunk all the time was due to his smelly shoes. He was an athlete, and his stinky shoes that he wore all the time brought us to the point where a group had to have an intervention. High school can be brutal, but imagine what he felt like when we said, "Dude, you stink, and you are causing us to stink because you are not using proper shoe hygiene. If you want to hang with us, fix the problem." The problem was he didn't even know he stunk, that was the sad part. Small group leaders can start to stink and not even know it. Here are some observations on how to avoid the STINK:

· Lead the dialogue, don't dominate with a monologue.

· Every so often it is good to get back to the basics. Rinse, wash, rinse, dry.

· Be the Leader, not an observer of the group.

· Change the schedule and routine of small group.

· Engage the small group in FRESH ways.

· Be Creative- art projects and songs help kids remember what they heard and learned about. The same is true for adults.

· If you need a break, there are others in your group who can lead a discussion for a night.

· DON'T WING IT. Know what the verses say, what the questions are, and be prepared.

· Lead the charge on setting understandings and ground rules for group success.

There you have it ladies & gents. Something to think about.