A Hit-N-Run Wakeup Call in MAY

After college I moved back home to Portland, OR. It was cool, I moved in with a friend for a month out of prode and not wanting to live at home after living the last four years on my own. But when I realized I could live at home for free, it was a no brainer. I worked 2 jobs and took on an internship, which led to my first ministry job as junior high pastor at Portland Christian Center. I still had occasional seizures here and there, but nothing major. I started dating my future wife, Jenelle, in 1998. She was the first to really see me have a seizure at the magnitude they had started to come to. She explained what I thought was happening and what she saw were two different things. In the Spring of 1999, Iwas hanging out with two boys from our student ministry when I noticed a gash down the side of my driver side door on my 1993 Pontiac Grand Am. We had just been hanging out over pizza, and when I dropped them off, is when I noticed it. I even said something to them and their mom, as she came out to see what we were looking at. I was ticked, to say the least. I was all about keeping my car clean and scratch free. This was a dent as if someone hit me in the parking lot and kept on driving...at least that is what I thought.
Two days later Portland Police called me at my new house Jenelle and I had just purchased a month berfore getting married. I picked up the phone and spoke with an officer from the police department. As we talked, I was under the impression someone had called in a hit-n-run on someone bumping my vehicle. I was stoked...for about 5 seconds, when the officer said, "No, you were the one who hit and ran." I responded with a "WHAT"? He said he would like to talk to me and look at my car. So, I met him at the church I worked at, and answered a slew of questions related to the "date" the accident was reported. I had no idea what he was talking about, and the interection it took place at was one I knewof, but barely ever drove through.
After he left, I was walking up to the offices of the church. My dad worked there and so I made a bee line for his office. On the way there, it hit me that I may have had a seizure while driving and actually been at fault. I was freaking out. I was a month from being married and the police were investigating me for a hit-n-run that I don't remember.
I drove to the scene of the crime and the realization of what had happened hit me like a flash back. I remember ending up on a road that I didn't intend to be on, and I remember following a red Jeep down it. It was right there that I knew I had been involved in this accident, but the crazy thing was I remembered the road, a red jeep, and that was it. The accident report read that I had side-swiped a lady's car knocking off the side mirror as I passed her in her Ford Thunderbird. SO, it was right then I knew I had to see the doctor. So, the appointment was set for mid-July, right after our honeymoon.

Epilepsy-The College Years

This week I celebrate the 10 year anniversary of my brain surgery. So, I bring you a series of blogs that refelct my journey leading up to the surgery. At age 18, I left home for college. I didn't just go up the street, I traveled 17 hours away from home to beautiful Southern California. This would be the first time I would be away from home with a seizure disorder not under supervision. I took college in stride. I welcomed the freedom and thoroughly enjoyed the overall experience. The seizures were pretty mellow through college and weren't really a major distraction. I hid the fact that I had what was diagnosed as "partial complex seizures". A few close friends were aware of the meds I was on, and I only explained it if it was necessary. With partial complex seizures, I would not convulse, but I would have these "dizzy spells" were I would have my short term memory affected for no more than 20 seconds. I was on medication and if there were side effects, which vomiting was one, I would normally be able to play it off as if I was sick, or ate something. No harm, no foul. If I did have a seizure, I was able to play those off as well. I did visit the doctor on occasion when I returned home to Portland throughout college. Not much changed, but I did learn that I could function pretty well and hide my disorder. Throughout college I maintained great grades, was invovled in campus life on numerous levels, and managed to get through in 4 years. 4 years that were at the time the best 4 of my life. By the end of college a few friends knew that something wasn't right, but for the most part I managed to mask my disorder from even some of my closer friends. I did so out of fear that people would start to look for them and ask if I was having them, as I did. So, the plan was this- the less people know, the better.

Epilepsy: How it all Began- A Brain Surgery Countdown

The year was 1990, and my family was at Red Robin. My dad, mom, and two younger sisters were enjoying a family night out. My mom noticed my behavior change for a minute, where I went into a zone, and what I recall was more like a dizzy spell, where everything went into slow motion. Didn't think anything of it, and went on with life as a high school freshman. For a while doctors struggled to get a grip on what was happening to me when slow motion started. After a few appts, they finally came up with a diagnosis-epilepsy. Not a word I really wanted to hear or attached to me. After all, I was a 14 year old kid, who had a bright future ahead of me. I was a starter on the freshman basketball team and pulling down a 4.0 GPA. So, they took me in and scanned my brain. They didn't find a thing, well a brain and some cells, but nothing to be too concerned over. They put me on some light meds and off I went to live my life. Live it, I did. For the next 4 years, high school was all it was supposed to be...sports, dances, friends, homework, a job, girlfriends, leadership, church, and a license to drive. Through it all nothing stopped me from becoming the normal kid who lived life to the fullest, enjoying every opportunity to be the center of attention. Although, through it all these dizzy spells would not go away. The medication helped, a little. Life happened and I enjoyed every minute of it. There was only one or two times I remember really being affected by these dizzy spells and both took place on the basketball courts. Once when I didn't have the ball, and once when I did. Easy enough to call a timeout and tell coach to take myself out of the game. Nothing major. At 16 I passed my driving test with flying colors and within days of turning 16, was driving a red Plymouth Barracuda all over. No complaints, except for these dumb little dizzy spells every once in a while.
High school ended and it was off to college. Being on my own was going to be freeing, rad, and one of the most exciting times in my life. Stay tuned as I bring you the college life rundown of life as an epileptic.

FOR SUCH A TIME IS THIS!

One of the most quoted scriptures in the book of Esther is in 4:14. It is here in the story of Esther that Mordecai reminds her that she has been placed in this position at this time, so she could make a difference. This week I was reminded 3 different times about the story of Esther. I watched a movie entitled "One Night with the King", heard our pastor mention the story a day later, and then happenend upon my devotional reading the story(assigned by a date that coincided with this week). This week I decided to look at my own life and see where God has placed me. So, I stepped back and made some observations. God has created me and positioned me to be a husband, father, pastor, friend, coach, and encourager. I thought of the fabulous wife God put in my life, and the companion that she has become over the years. I played with my kids, and thought of what an incredible responsibility and joy they bring me. I spent some time with the ECC team, where I work this week and realized that God has placed each of them in my life, and I in theirs for such a time is this. I gleam something from everyone that is in my life right now. I know that God has a plan for me, and at times in the last 20 years I have questioned that over and over. But this week, I came to a point in my maturity journey, that I am where I am because God is carving me, using the people I come in contact with everyday, every month, and the occasionial bump from someone who reminds me why I am on this planet of 6 billion people. There are times I wrestle with all that happens in my head and question why it happens, but I truly believe that when I accept God's positioning me for such a time is this, it is my opportunity to gain wisdom, influence when the opportunity arises, and listen to the people around me. I've been on a lot of teams in my life and I loved my role on each one, whether I am a starter, leader, or back up. I love being a part of teams. I'm just glad I'm on those teams, for such a time is this. Maybe a great action to take for you, is to see where you have been placed, and ask yourself these questions: Who am I influencing in my current realities? Who is around me challenging me in various aspects of my life? What areas can I grow in? Am I willing to be stretched?

Harvesting Dreams

It is hard to believe Fall is upon us. As I was reading scripture today, I was reminded of the season and what it brings-a harvest. Psalm 126 speaks of a pilgrimage. Like so many people today, these people were held captive. As their nation and world was falling around them, they fell into a state of somberness. Then, upon being freed, they are once free to dream again and agian. Dream to the point of laughter and joy. Have you ver been there? What was once a dark time, is now filled with songs of joy. These people realize that through freedom they are able to dream again, and through dreaming they will be able to reap a harvest. Their new found dream state puts them in a trance like state. As if they were in REM sleep. While they dream, they realize that it was God who raised themn out of this captive state of mind. Yes, they went through times of sorrow, but they realize that it is not the end, but only a means to the end. In this song, you will find a prayer, a song, and a promise. The promise is this...when we put effort into our dreams and we take time to carry the seed to sow, we will see our dreams harvested. God is giving us a new lease on life, it is our responsibility. We may sow sorrow, but we will reap rejoicing.