The Voices In My Head

You don't have to be labeled crazy to admit that their are voices that dance around in your head. I've heard them for a long time. I sometimes battle with them and other times flat out ignore them, and every once in a while I listen to them. Last night I had the opportunity to sit down with leaders and collaborate on a game plan for a leadership game changer in our faith community. It was in this setting I was reminded of 3 voices that dance around in my head regularly. Yes, I have 3 of them. Let me speak to you about the 3 of them probably in your head too:

• The Encourager's- these are the people you have in your life that will tell you that you, your idea, your vision are all wonderful things. They are the people that let you know, no matter what you think you may suck at, you have great ideas, good traits, value, or talent. These are the "I know you can do it" people. Everyone of us have these in our life. The voice may take form from a mentor, coach, teacher, parent, employer, boss, or pastor.




• God- God sent to us the Holy Spirit to walk alongside of us and counsel us throughout the greatest decisions we face. God will direct your path by shutting doors or closing them by speaking, sometimes in a still small voice. I have found in my life, it is normally pretty clear when God is speaking to me, although I have never heard His voice audibly.




• Satan- The father of lies whispers un sweet nothings into your ears all the time. The moments I have been ready to champion something big, I have been reminded that I may fail, or I am unequipped, or that I am a no-good nothing. The fact is most people buy into the lies that are presented, because these lies and fear that are cast, are so not prepared to fight back when this voice starts speaking in their head. I have learned that in these times of fear & doubt or discouragement, I can stand strong by counting on the other voices in my head to drown out the one that would sway me from making a difference in the life of someone, no matter what the cost.

I am pretty sure that you have similar voices in your life. When you grasp to that which is true, you will be able to determine what voices you should listen to and which voices you should drown out or flat out ignore. I cling to scripture to combat the lies I hear in my head, and I also cling to the Hope that I find in Jesus Christ. When faced with life decisions that I really need to think about, I count on the reality of voices that care about me and have my best interest at heart, even if it isn't something I want to hear. I have learned that certain voices in my head are worth listening too, and one is always going to try to take away my courage and dreams, because if unleashed I may speak into the life or show the love of Christ that is in me. So, listen up to the voices in your head, and be able to

Have a Plan!

HAVE A PLAN. It is a statement, not a question. I was 14 years old when my dad started talking to me about having a plan. He emphasized that to finish well, you have to have a plan of where you are going and how you are going to get there. In other words, Have a plan, or system, or think about the repercussions you may have, if you don;t have some sort of plan in place. He wasn't knocking my spontaneous nature by any means, he was encouraging me to not be like people who make mistakes because they weren't thinking ahead. Here I am, at age 14, starting my first job and saving money for a car by age 16. "Phil, if you want a car, you better have a plan." That meant get a job, son. The "Have a Plan" speech carried over on a number of occasions. There was the "have a plan" talk about dating. It went something like this, "You better know where you are going and what you are doing, or you'll get yourself in a lot of trouble young man. Have a plan!" This "Have a Plan" played out in a variety of speeches. There was the sports version, the Friday night version, the college version, the employment version, the dating version, and life goals version. Today, I sit in an office 22 years later, and I am looking ahead so that I can "Have a Plan." This means I will know where I'm going, map out what needs to get done, and keep my priorities aligned correctly. In life, I'd say this Have a Plan is a great way to stay motivated and set yourself up for success. So, as I finish this up, I will fling my chair around and put my head into a calendar and map out my 2012 to some degree. Not in so much detail that it would make one go crazy, but I'm getting a plan together to accomplish great things. Friend, make sure you HAVE A PLAN!

All Systems Check

Every once in a while it is great to review the systems you have in your life. It is always good to get a fresh perspective on what the follow through will be in the way you respond to things in life. Recently my friend, Jim, challenged me to review my work systems. This led me to also review my systems that surround all things out side of work. Family time, kid time, how I pay bills, save money, and keep up my house. I realized I have so many systems, but they are all necessary. So, what are ways systems that you could look at going into the Fall. This is a great time to get new systems started. I recently changed the way I organize my task list. It has worked superb to this point. I have synced my iphone, my ipad,and my work computer, to all carry the same info on it. So, I can be synced no matter where i am. i suggest you think about the systems in your life and how you can push yourself to become better. I am not perfect by any means, and I have some systems I am working out. A crazy life can lead to some crazy miscues, and I want to make sure I am on my game. So, take a few minutes and review a few systems in your life: how you follow up with friends, pursue friends, organize your home, projects, and create a place for the ones you love. This life lesson will work in all aspects of your life-and I suggest you streamline as much as you can in the cray world we live in. You could be out of control before you know it...or maybe you are already there.

How Will They Remember You?

Every once in a while, I will catch myself in a moment of regret. It normally plays out like this: One of my kids does something really lousy, not necessarily on purpose, but it creates a reaction from me. My initial reaction can be one that lasts no more than three seconds, but it leaves an impression. I'm trying to create an atmosphere where my kids will remember me for the fun-loving, playful dad that I can be, not the one who on occasion can lose my cool, at the hit of a sister, sass of a mouth, or a complete accident. As my kids get older, their memory of me will be chiseled into their minds for good. I want to make sure that is one that is a positive. Yes, discipline still has its place and they may dislike me for it at times. But, the quick tempered, short fuse, can be a detriment to my long term relationship with my kids.
How about you? What impression do you leave on those around you when the cookie crumbles, the sandcastle gets washed away, or life brings you a mess you didn't need or expect? I know it would be easier to punch something, yell, react, or even honk your horn. What I do know is that there are eyes on you, when you react with people around. Adults or kids, it doesn't matter. Self Control is a fruit of the Spirit, and I find myself daily asking God to give me it. I'm not going to make excuses of why I may react the way I do at times, but I will make an effort to try and live my life as an example to my kids.

Motivation SHMotivation

Motivation drives a lot of people. If you need motivational quotes to keep you going through life, here are my thoughts for you:

• Good luck with that!


• New quotes will come from the most random of places.


• You have 20 million+ places to find them in cyberspace.


• You will waste a lot of time trying to stay motivated.

What keeps you motivated? Perhaps recognition if you succeed. Is it a coach(or boss) challenging you? Maybe an EPIC movie (there are only a few of these by the way) that causes the hero to motivate the hero within you, by crushing a line that rings everyday in the back of your mind? A fortune cookie saying? Perhaps, it is a driven, goal-oriented mindset that is just "you". Most people are motivated by something.

Motivation is defined as follows:
1. the act or an instance of motivating; 2. desire to do; interest or drive; 3. incentive or inducement; 4. psychol the process that arouses, sustains and regulates human and animal behaviour.

Every once in a while I find myself in a place where I need to be motivated. I, like many, love to have goals sitting in front of me, and like many work real well under pressure to attain the goals I set. Find what you need to motivate you to move you forward. The worst thing you can do is sit back and wait for some movie, person, thought, poster, or tragedy motivate you to make the most of your life. Motivation Shmotivation, do something today while you still have a body to do it, a voice to be heard, and a heartbeat that keeps you alive to drive you toward a dream, concept, opportunity, or challenge.

Staying Alive, Staying Young, & Challenging Myself!

Recently I have grown out my facial hair. Not a full beard, but scruffy. Kind of like when I was a college kid and didn't shave because facial hair was new to me, and I hated shaving every morning. But lately I have seen some gray...NOOOOOOOOOOO! This week I turn 36 years old. This means that 1/2 a life ago I was graduating high school. So, at this point in my life, I have done quite a few things...I'm not at mid-life crisis mode yet, but I'm sure I'm a year closer now. I love challenges and so this year, I look to find something new to challenge me. Physically, I have done a few things like returned from a brain surgery, run a marathon, complete P90X and continue to work out regularly, and eat pretty organically. Spiritually-I have memorized scripture, read through the Bible every year, and am teaching my family how Jesus loves us. Mentally-I'm reading more, so that is a start. I've coached and am coaching. Socially-well I will hit 1,000 FB friends this year, most who I haven't seen or had a face to face conversation with in the last 5 years. (so that doesn't count-I think)

So, this is my goal this year...to find something to do that will challenge me in a person's HEALTH ZONES. I'm not sure what that is yet, but I guarantee you-I'm always up for a challenge.

Maybe I will conquer all my fears...climbing the Space Needle bare handed to conquer heights; wrestle a garter snake to get that one behind me; give blood more this year conquer my fear of needles (adding a tattoo is probably more fun)

All this to say..."36, you will not hold me back." 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 didn't even have a chance & neither will you.

JACKPOT leads to some marriage advice

This weekend we celebrate 12 years of marriage. OMG, I know, we look so young. Life has been pretty crazy the past 12 years. 4 moves, 3 kids, 2 jobs, 1 brain surgery, and life together is just starting to rock. I married way out of my league and every one knows it. Heck, I was just glad she said yes, because she played hard to get and just to date her was a challenge. I remember when I first was attracted to Jenelle, there was something different about her. I am 3 years her elder and although we were in the same church, same youth ministry, we were in completely different worlds. Once our world's collided after college, I finally realized, she was pretty cute, grounded, and a go-getter. She had the call of God on her life and that was one of the things that attracted me to her. That and she is FINE! (not only using vocab from my high school days, but also scoring some major points) For the record, I really don't need them-I score them all the time. I know that in the game of life, I have hit the JACKPOT, because I have someone like her to share life with. She is my biggest fan, and also my honest helpmate. I love her honesty- she tells me when I'm hot and when I'm not. She compliments me by being the detailed chick in the house. My big ideas are often brought to fruition or reality because of her. She makes me better in so many ways too.
When we took our vows, we included that we would be with each other in sickness and in health, and little did she know 9 days after saying those vows, she would walk with me through a brain tumor discovery and then surgery to remove it. But she did. She is so strong as a woman of faith, and has been amazing to see her even grow so much in our 12 years together. As far as MOM goes to our kids, she is a Rock Star. Juggling a career, wife, homemaker, mentor, and then add a full scale pastor's wife who is super involved, makes the case for SUPERWIFE. But balance is the reason we have made it. Looking back there are some thoughts for you based on how we have kept our marriage strong. For all you looking for love, here ya go:

• Be Flexible with each other.


• Say, "I Love you" a lot.


• Be the first to admit you are wrong, if you are.


• Be spontaneous and have some fun.


• Unplug from everything electronic occasionally.


• Set goals & dream together.


• Make date nights)without the kids) a priority in your week. (at least bi-weekly)


• Treat your spouse as if the whole world was watching you.


• Open the door for her, gentlemen.


• Impress and win her like you had to when you were dating.


• Pray together.


• Put together a family plan that will help you concentrate on the areas of your marriage you want and need too.


• Put amazing couples around you that you can lean on when things get tough, and laugh with when things are going great.

Well, this works for now. We ask ourselves all the time, "can you believe we got married?" 20 years ago, no one would have ever thought that, but hey a lot can happen in 20, and also 12.