PUSH!

I have a rule I established with my son: If someone pushes you, feel free to push back. (unless it is your sisters-then I'll take care of it) I know this may not be the rules you grew up with or rules you even establish in your household. But I want my kid to know he has permission to push people if needed. Being pushed by another kid, is permission from him to push back.

As a leader of a small group, it is very easy to not push or even push back. As a group grows closer together, a leader often draws back from anything that would bring challenge, confrontation, or even disagreement. I think as leaders of groups we have to be able to challenge our groups in growth. If we don't, then we are just offering a party with friends. In discussion and facilitating questions, the leader must be able to press people farther in their faith. That may look different for certain people, but the need to push-has to be there. A group often forms to agree with whatever is being said, and very seldom is their a "devils' advocate" in the room. Recently, I went to a small group and there was a challenge to the discussion. There was this tension, and it wasn't a negative tension at all. It was a tension that was great for the group to wrestle with. The leader responded in a fantastic way, and other group members gave some of their thoughts. I remember walking away from that group visit, feeling that this was super great. The facilitator displayed: poise, leadership, an answer backed up by scripture, and was friendly in the response. The tension didn't linger longer than it needed too. As a matter of fact, we all ate later together, agreeing to disagree on certain things.
The point is this. As leaders, we need to step in and push those in our groups as they walk along in faith. I know that leadership is tough. Leading small groups is tough for some. I do know this though: as leaders we will face challenges and push back; we must offer it as well. Let people wrestle with the text, the questions, and push people to extend their Christian faith. We need strong believers who know why they believe what they believe. One way to do this is to give them an opportunity to push their faith, with great friends who love them.
Pushing fellow small groupers will continue to transform them individually, and as a group. So, about this and next time do a little pushing with those in your group. Pushing can be a great stretching environment, and we all know stretching is great for us all.

Don't Be Stinky

I have an old friend, who will remain nameless, that I grew up with that stunk all the time. He used deodorant, he brushed his teeth, he took showers; however, he did not take care of everything that could cause this stink problem. The reason he stunk all the time was due to his smelly shoes. He was an athlete, and his stinky shoes that he wore all the time brought us to the point where a group had to have an intervention. High school can be brutal, but imagine what he felt like when we said, "Dude, you stink, and you are causing us to stink because you are not using proper shoe hygiene. If you want to hang with us, fix the problem." The problem was he didn't even know he stunk, that was the sad part. Small group leaders can start to stink and not even know it. Here are some observations on how to avoid the STINK:

· Lead the dialogue, don't dominate with a monologue.

· Every so often it is good to get back to the basics. Rinse, wash, rinse, dry.

· Be the Leader, not an observer of the group.

· Change the schedule and routine of small group.

· Engage the small group in FRESH ways.

· Be Creative- art projects and songs help kids remember what they heard and learned about. The same is true for adults.

· If you need a break, there are others in your group who can lead a discussion for a night.

· DON'T WING IT. Know what the verses say, what the questions are, and be prepared.

· Lead the charge on setting understandings and ground rules for group success.

There you have it ladies & gents. Something to think about.

Why I sign off, BE BLESSED

As a young junior high pastor, one day I found myself trying to figure out what would be a good sign off at the end of my letters to parents, leaders, colleagues, and people in the church. I had seen plenty of sign offs that seemed vague and boring: sincerely, have a good day, take care, thank you, and the list goes on and on. I also saw ones that people would use that seemed at the time, a saying that was time sensitive for an event, season, or stage of ministry. So, out of really an attempt at a few options, I settled on BE BLESSED.

Blessing is used in a variety of ways in the Bible, as it actually begins with it and ends with it; but in between you can find a few ways to interpret this word. The Hebrew noun word for blessing is berakah, which communicates God's favor and goodness. The Hebrew verb word for blessing is barak, which means to kneel. Scripture is lined with ways we can visually see this word: birthrights, goodwill to mankind, inheritance, serving God, healthy crops, to name a few.

At every Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner my grandfather would lead the family in a well known song, the doxology. He would start off in his pastoral voice, "Praise God from whom all blessings flow..." It was a time for the family to offer praise and exaltation for His blessings upon the family. The blessing from God was revealed in Genesis only to be lost due to the Fall. Then God reveals throughout the OT the way in which He plans to cover us once again, through His Son, Jesus. The blessing awarded and forfeited in the creation story, is re-established by Jesus. He is the blessing for each of us.

As I sign off on 99% of the e-mails, letters, and encouragement notes with BE BLESSED; I am exhorting, as a close to my words, a word of blessing upon you, for whatever life may bring you that day or time frame.

Be Blessed Friend!

Power of a Small Group

Life as it happens, is captured everywhere these days. On occasion these images make there way to the phone, computer, and television screens across the world. One so video captured me last week. It was a perfect illustration of the power of a small group. Here is the set up and the video and what we can learn from it:
Set Up: A man riding a motorcycle w/out a helmet, hits a BMW as it is pulling out of a parking garage. The man riding the cycle ends up underneath the BMW. The bike goes up in flames, and the man is pinned. A group of complete strangers rush over and try and help this man.

Well, just watch!

My thoughts on this video:

• You will never understand the power of a small group unless you are a part of one.
• It takes a small group to radically change a life or given scenario.
• The world is full of people like this motorcycle rider, who finds himself in a no-win situation. A small group can recalibrate the perspective with a bold move of stepping out.
• It only took one person to influence, and then momentum and adrenaline got more people engaged.
• A heart can come alive through small group community.
• When people see the power of a small group, they will want to be a part of one!
• While the world for this guy seemed to be crashing down, it was a small group who held it up.
• Beautiful things can happen when we shift to others-focused rather than me-focused.

So, in case you missed it. In life we can find reminders that give us perspective. Small groups have been a vital part of my life and these groups have walked with me through many life challenges. How about you? How does this video speak to you?

The Voices In My Head

You don't have to be labeled crazy to admit that their are voices that dance around in your head. I've heard them for a long time. I sometimes battle with them and other times flat out ignore them, and every once in a while I listen to them. Last night I had the opportunity to sit down with leaders and collaborate on a game plan for a leadership game changer in our faith community. It was in this setting I was reminded of 3 voices that dance around in my head regularly. Yes, I have 3 of them. Let me speak to you about the 3 of them probably in your head too:

• The Encourager's- these are the people you have in your life that will tell you that you, your idea, your vision are all wonderful things. They are the people that let you know, no matter what you think you may suck at, you have great ideas, good traits, value, or talent. These are the "I know you can do it" people. Everyone of us have these in our life. The voice may take form from a mentor, coach, teacher, parent, employer, boss, or pastor.




• God- God sent to us the Holy Spirit to walk alongside of us and counsel us throughout the greatest decisions we face. God will direct your path by shutting doors or closing them by speaking, sometimes in a still small voice. I have found in my life, it is normally pretty clear when God is speaking to me, although I have never heard His voice audibly.




• Satan- The father of lies whispers un sweet nothings into your ears all the time. The moments I have been ready to champion something big, I have been reminded that I may fail, or I am unequipped, or that I am a no-good nothing. The fact is most people buy into the lies that are presented, because these lies and fear that are cast, are so not prepared to fight back when this voice starts speaking in their head. I have learned that in these times of fear & doubt or discouragement, I can stand strong by counting on the other voices in my head to drown out the one that would sway me from making a difference in the life of someone, no matter what the cost.

I am pretty sure that you have similar voices in your life. When you grasp to that which is true, you will be able to determine what voices you should listen to and which voices you should drown out or flat out ignore. I cling to scripture to combat the lies I hear in my head, and I also cling to the Hope that I find in Jesus Christ. When faced with life decisions that I really need to think about, I count on the reality of voices that care about me and have my best interest at heart, even if it isn't something I want to hear. I have learned that certain voices in my head are worth listening too, and one is always going to try to take away my courage and dreams, because if unleashed I may speak into the life or show the love of Christ that is in me. So, listen up to the voices in your head, and be able to

Have a Plan!

HAVE A PLAN. It is a statement, not a question. I was 14 years old when my dad started talking to me about having a plan. He emphasized that to finish well, you have to have a plan of where you are going and how you are going to get there. In other words, Have a plan, or system, or think about the repercussions you may have, if you don;t have some sort of plan in place. He wasn't knocking my spontaneous nature by any means, he was encouraging me to not be like people who make mistakes because they weren't thinking ahead. Here I am, at age 14, starting my first job and saving money for a car by age 16. "Phil, if you want a car, you better have a plan." That meant get a job, son. The "Have a Plan" speech carried over on a number of occasions. There was the "have a plan" talk about dating. It went something like this, "You better know where you are going and what you are doing, or you'll get yourself in a lot of trouble young man. Have a plan!" This "Have a Plan" played out in a variety of speeches. There was the sports version, the Friday night version, the college version, the employment version, the dating version, and life goals version. Today, I sit in an office 22 years later, and I am looking ahead so that I can "Have a Plan." This means I will know where I'm going, map out what needs to get done, and keep my priorities aligned correctly. In life, I'd say this Have a Plan is a great way to stay motivated and set yourself up for success. So, as I finish this up, I will fling my chair around and put my head into a calendar and map out my 2012 to some degree. Not in so much detail that it would make one go crazy, but I'm getting a plan together to accomplish great things. Friend, make sure you HAVE A PLAN!

All Systems Check

Every once in a while it is great to review the systems you have in your life. It is always good to get a fresh perspective on what the follow through will be in the way you respond to things in life. Recently my friend, Jim, challenged me to review my work systems. This led me to also review my systems that surround all things out side of work. Family time, kid time, how I pay bills, save money, and keep up my house. I realized I have so many systems, but they are all necessary. So, what are ways systems that you could look at going into the Fall. This is a great time to get new systems started. I recently changed the way I organize my task list. It has worked superb to this point. I have synced my iphone, my ipad,and my work computer, to all carry the same info on it. So, I can be synced no matter where i am. i suggest you think about the systems in your life and how you can push yourself to become better. I am not perfect by any means, and I have some systems I am working out. A crazy life can lead to some crazy miscues, and I want to make sure I am on my game. So, take a few minutes and review a few systems in your life: how you follow up with friends, pursue friends, organize your home, projects, and create a place for the ones you love. This life lesson will work in all aspects of your life-and I suggest you streamline as much as you can in the cray world we live in. You could be out of control before you know it...or maybe you are already there.