Over Prepared Leaders in Small Groups

Have you ever been in a small group where the "leader" dominates the speaking or small group time? OK, guilty leader blushing...now. I know there are groups all over the country, at least one in every church, where the leader teaches and does not engage the small group participants. I will go on record saying, sometimes there are groups of new Christ followers, that need to be in an environment were that is fostered. However, for a group Christ followers the playing field should be leveled at times. As a leader of a copious small group ministry and a participant in groups over the last 15 years, I find the smoothest groups are one where a leader asks a lot of questions to get people talking. It is not uncommon for one to over-prepare themselves to lead. I think this can come out of a few different mentalities. Here are some common reasons for over-preparedness: a fear of not having enough to keep a group talking; a teaching only environment works; the thought that as a spiritual leader they need to have all the answers and the talking points, insecurities as a leader, a belief that as the leader they should be super prepared, maybe it is because that is all they have ever seen, and finally maybe it is a personality thing.
In building community one will soon realize that as a group grows together the freedom to get others involved and maybe even lead will be recognized. At least it should, and if not the group will eventually dissolve. The best small group materials available offer a thoguht, and then revolve it around some key points with lots of questions. For small group growth to occur, the fostering of leadership and the art of the asking questions need to be learned.
Over-preparedness can be a small group killer. It can cause groups to grow tired, dreadful, lost, and lackluster. Ask lots of right questions and inspire people to respond. It is doesn;t take much, but it does take.

Connecting With Leaders

There is one important task that must not be overlooked in leadership. That is the art of conencting with leaders. When you connect with leaders it should be on two levels: business & relational. Let me break that down. About the business: When you are meeting with leaders you should always keep the vision in front of them and intentionally keep them motivated about the vision. Know where you want to end and get there in the time allotted. At the same time you should allow plenty of time for relational conversation to take place. How is life, family, work, what makes them laugh in recent days, and let the talk be about them. I have a friend who recently told me he used to get invited to meet with a ministry leader, and he always started the time together by asking, "Is this about business, or is this about hanging out?" This way he knew where the leader intended to go, and help him get there. If it was about hanging out, my friend would be able to navigate as he was comfortable enough to do. I think there are many ways you can meet with leaders, but the important part is to make the time effective, and not let the person you meet with feel like it is a waste of their valuable time. Challenging leaders is a must, and inspiring vision is too, but don't forget to ask a lot of questions and get other people talking. Sometimes a meeting is about checking the gauges of those around you, and that is important. Connecting with leaders helps you grow, flow, and go. Make it a priority and get in their world when you can.

Urgent or Important?

I was challenged today to think about what is urgent and what is important. It made me realize that sometimes I live with this tension of deciding what is what. Sometimes I also think urgent things are important, and they are not. So many times I forget to realize that the person I am trying to be like, CHRIST, was the perfect example of figuring what was urgent and what was important. In John 17, Jesus in His prayer makes a claim that is worth thinking about. He declared that His work was completed. But weren't there more miracles to do, weren't there more people that needed to hear His message, shouldn't He have met with more people? Jesus had a peace in His heart that when He was done, He was ready to call it good for the work God had given him. Throughout Jesus' ministry, He often waited for God to direct Him. I love what Hummel says, in Tyranny of the Urgent relating to Lazarus and the call to come see him. "The urgent need was to prevent the death of a brother, a friend....But the important thing from God's point of view was to raise Lazarus from the dead." This is a great reminder for everyone to live by. You need to decide what you are going to do with your time. We only have 24 hours a day and if we had more, we would find a way to fill it. As an action, take some time to look at your schedule and evaluate what is urgent and what is important. Think about what is eating up your schedule and time. If you prioritize the important, you will go a long way and be successful in all you are doing. Timing is everything and will take you a long way in life.

THE MISSIONS-MINDED MIND of a 7 year old

This week my 7 year old son(that is the cool dude in the pic), decided he would get 19 extra buddy barrels. Buddy barrels are these yellow little plastic barrels that are used to collect money for missionaries around the world. Luke decided since he already has 5 himself, that he should make sure that every kid in his school class had one. So, he asked his teacher if he could give a little presentation on what buddy barrels were, and what they were used for. (His little creative business mind makes me wonder what he will do with his life.) He then challenged all his friends to get lose change and dollar bills and fill the barrels, so he could take them to church and make sure the missionaries get them. So, today before school he got his box that will hold all the buddy barrels from his calss and took it in, ready to go see if any kids took up his challenge. When he gets his mind behind something, he is hard to bump off track. That may be a good thing. Last year alone he gave over $350 to missions as a 6 year old. I'm excited to see what happens this year. The missions mind he has, amazes me and I am wondering what creative idea comes next for him to give to missions. All I know, is that if you know him, he is not afraid to ask if you for money for missions. Be forewarned.

Balance- You Should Get Some

A few years ago I found myself running rampant with life throwing a thousand things my direction daily. My attitude changed and I took on a routine that made me restless, unhealthy, irritated, tired, and life seemed to be spiraling out of control. One day I had an epiphany and realzied that my life was to be balanced and that it was meant to be enjoyed. So, I made some changes. I learned to say "NO" a lot more often. I put my family first, which was always the plan, but not always the result. I then shifted my schedule to make sure that the things that needed to get done did, and that I took mental breaks, conversation breaks, and made sure I spent time with people-which is a must for my persoanlity type. Now that I have that elusive word BALANCE in my life, I also have Joy, Peace, I laugh more, I'm not as intense, and I get more done in less amount of time. Balance is something that a lot of people I know are missing. What will soon happen is what happened to me...burnout, frustration, ready to SNAP at anyone...anytime, and anywhere. No balance and being tired can do that to ya Nowadays, life is grand and I am living an INTENTIONAL Life. Balance...You should get some...Doctor recommended and definitely a life saver.

Never Judge a Book By Its Cover

In case you are one of the 5.8 billion people on the planet who missed it, there was a remarkable story off the show Britain's Got Talent this past week. Susan Boyle, a 47 year old, never been kissed, unemployed lady took the stage. She stumbled over a few early questions, said she wanted to be like Eileen Page, and had a few people in the crowd rolling their eyes. Even the judges(Simon, Amanda, & Piers) were in for a surprise. They totally misjudged her; "cynical" was the word the judges used. Look at their reaction from them as she starts to sing. They are blown away and the crowd reacts too. She wasn't really put together real well, she stepped out not worried about what she looked like, and then took the world-yes the world by storm. This week she has easily over 12 million hits on youtube(from just one video-while there are many other of the exact same video with over a million) from her performance. Simon Cowell of American Idol, is a judge on this show, along with the two other judges were obviously shocked by what they heard next. Why is it we judge a book by its cover-so to speak. I listened to Susan sing this song from Les Miserables over and over again, and each time there was a freshness that came as the crowd roared and the judges were amazed-yes amazed. I must admit, I had to confess taht I have judged far too many people in my life time and this was a wake up for me to be careful how I judge. I, by looking at her, would have judged her the same way-but because I had heard about her via the web, I knew I was in for something special. This week I was reading Psalm 139 and after reading that and listening to this, it gave me new perspective. Their is beauty in each of us because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Even if she couldn't sing, she was created by God. We are God-created and made in His image, and because of that, when we judge people, we are judging...well God. This is a fresh reminder to me that I better be careful not to judge to much by the outside, because on the inside a person can suprise you, just like Susan Boyle did me and the rest of the world. If you haven't seen it you chould check it out.

Throwing Rocks

As a kid, I threw plenty of rocks. The first time I went to the principal's office was for throwing rocks at girls on the playground. Hey, I had to get their attention, they were cute. I always love throwing rocks into a body of water. I often still today stand in amazement as I watch the ripples start as the rock goes kerplunk. Our lives are like rocks that make ripples.
I never met the man, but I have been told of this man who was brought up with integrity, influence, leadership, and an amazing work ethic. He developed these traits and led by example for his oldest son, Ruben. Who in return passed it onto Ruben Jr., who modeled it for William, whom passed it onto his kid, Phillip. Now, I have the task of instilling that in Luke, a 6th generation first born boy. Five generations later the ripple effect is still moving through yet another generation. The legacy that I leave, I too want to be talked about 6 generations from now. The work ethic, convictions, integrity, leadership, equipping that I spend time on today will hopefully make ripples. I understand I have to be willing to create and cultivate a place for ripples to take effect in the lives I come in contact with. My hope is that I will represent a rock that is tossed in water, and my example will cause the water to be interrupted and the effect will go on and on. So, next time you see a calm body of water- STOP. Throw a rock and see how the ripple takes effect. Then think about what ripple you will make.